On the 12th day of Hashmas, the two hares gave to me...
12 Ounces Hash Beer
11 Dollar Brandy
10 High Bourbon
9-ty Proof Gin
8-ty Proof Vodka
7 Seagram's Seven
6 Year-old Evan
5 GOLDEN RUMS
4-ester Whiskey
3 Triple Sec
2 Fingers Kill-ya
and a Be-e-er in a tree
PDF of the IN MOBILE with all the original verses!
Oh the virgins they are rare in Mobile,
Oh the virgins they are rare in Mobile,
Oh the virgins they are rare
When they get their pubic hair
They're deflowered by the mayor in Mobile
In Mobile, In Mobile, In Mo, In Mo, In Mo, In Mobile
Oh the virgins they are rare
When they get their pubic hair
They're deflowered by the mayor in Mobile
Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile,
Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile,
Oh the eagles they fly high
And they shit right in your eye
Oh thank god that cows don't fly in Mobile
In Mobile, In Mobile, In Mo, In Mo, In Mo, In Mobile
Oh the eagles they fly high
And they shit right in your eye
Oh thank god that cows don't fly in Mobile
P.M. Wes is our founder in Mobile,
P.M. Wes is our founder in Mobile,
P.M. Wes is our founder
And keeps on getting rounder
Cause he eats those quarter pounders in Mobile
In Mobile, In Mobile, In Mo, In Mo, In Mo, In Mobile
P.M. Wes is our founder
And keeps on getting rounder
Cause he eats those quarter pounders in Mobile
Hashers, meet the hashers, we're the biggest drunks in history
From the, town of Mobile, we're the leaders in debauchery
Half-minds, trailing shiggy through the years
Watch us, as we down-down all these beers
(Melody: Part of your world, The Little Mermaid)
Look at this hash
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think our collections commplete
Wouldn't you think we're the ones, the ones who have everyone
We've Jizzy's and Jizzl's a'pllenty
We got Tables and Toppers galore
And vagina names? We've got 20
But who cares, no big deal, we want more
Out where we run, out where we walk,
following trails of flower and chalk
Beer on your dome, soon you'll call home GCH3
What would you pay, if you could play, with all these dickheads
What would you give if you could live like a heathen
Muggles on land, don't understand
They want to, repremand us hashers
But we're hashers, so you bastards, are you on-on
You're ready to know what these wankers know
You've got questions, S.A.D.'s my answer
Like who am I, and why won't I, shut the fuck up
Fill up your cup
Don't you dare frown
Cause you're about to do a down down
And when you're done
You will become
Part of our hash
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking use to anyone,
He's no fucking use at all.
They say he's a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me,
So drink it down, down, down . . .
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.